


Truth and Consequences

by fojee



Series: Puzzle Pieces [11]
Category: I Remember You - Fandom, Korean Drama, 너를 기억해 | Hello Monster
Genre: M/M, Multi, Original Character(s), break-up, mild homophobia, shitty courtroom scenes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-22
Updated: 2015-10-04
Packaged: 2018-04-22 20:01:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4848563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fojee/pseuds/fojee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The three of them, together and apart. </p><p>(Also, Cha Ji An persists.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 

I know borderlines were drew between us. Keep the weapons down. Keep the wounded safe.  
I know our antebellum innocence was never meant to see the lights of our armistice day.  
\- "Antebellum" by Vienna Teng

  
Every grave holds a reason.  
\- W.S. Merwin

Detective Yang opens his eyes, and sees the man sitting beside his bed. "Ah it's you. Lee Hyun-sshi," he says through a throat raspy from disuse. He feels like he's been in this hospital for ages. "What are you doing here?"

Hyun gestures at the bouquet of flowers displayed on the table. "I wanted to see how you were."

Yang sighs, rubbing his chest where the letter opener had pierced. The bandage is itchy, but he's not supposed to scratch. It's not his first rodeo. But it feels like it might be his last.

"Are you blaming yourself for what that psycho did? Did you come here to beg for my forgiveness, or to share the blame with me?"

Hyun shrugs. "Neither."

"I heard that the bastard escaped. Don't worry too much. You'll catch him again. Although next time, save me from being stabbed first."

Something about the way the detective speaks perturbs Hyun. "Are you quitting?"

Yang laughs. "You always were a genius."

Hyun shakes his head, not sure he heard that right, but the older man motions him closer.

"When you didn't recognize me, I thought about saying something. But I guess it was easier to let bygones be bygones. I knew you as a kid, David. Do you remember the matchsticks?"

The word shakes something loose from his memory. "Ah," Hyun says. "I do remember you. But is there a reason you are bringing it up now?"

"When your father got killed, it hit the rest of us really hard. Some of us have families of our own. And every day that we worked out there to bring these sonofbitches to justice is a day we risk orphaning our own children. So even though there was nothing to do, and no clues to find, I tried my best to keep an ear out for someone like Lee Joon Young."

Hyun's heart is racing, but his face reveals none of it. "Did you find him?"

"Would I be doing nothing if I had? No, I didn't find him, but even though he didn't leave bodies behind, he leaves rumors. Traces of his presence. I'm not sure what good they'll do you, but there's a notebook at my house that I have to give to you. Everything I've found is there."

"And the reason you're giving it to me, is it because you're done looking?"

Yang rubs his chest again. "I'm an old man now. And this time I got a little too close to kicking the bucket. But you see, the doctors were doing tests on me when they found something."

Hyun tilts his head, before the answer appears. "Cancer."

Yang lets out a chuckle. "That's right. It's early enough that I have a fighting chance, but I can't go out into the field anymore. Retirement seems like the best choice for me. That psycho may have almost killed me, but he may also have saved my life. So it's time to pass the torch so to speak. I'll send the notebook over to you after I get discharged. It may take a while, though."

Hyun nods. "I look forward to it."

Yang leans back on the pillow and yawns. "Damn painkillers. Look, I'm gonna ask you straight, here. Am I still a target? Do you think he'll come back for me?"

Hyun studies him carefully. "He's not that kind of psycho. He's smart and has access to enough funds to get himself out of the country. You can enjoy your retirement in peace, detective."

"That's good," Yang murmurs, even as his eyes fall shut. "That's really good."

\---

Hyun cleans the house like a possessed man. He scrubs every window with newspaper and cleaner, and mops the floor in every room until they gleam. The linens are hanging outside, drying under the sun. The whole house smells faintly of lemons.

And still he cleans.

That's the sight that greets Lee Joon Young when he slips through the back door. For a second, he smiles at the apron Hyun is wearing, with a matching handkerchief on his head. Then he stops, and frowns instead.

"You're starting to exhibit some distinctly neurotic behavior. Should I be worried, Hyun-a?"

Hyun stares down at the foot of the mop, then lets it go. It hits the floor with a loud clatter. Joon Young doesn't flinch. Hyun doesn't expect him to. But it still annoys him.

"You must think I'm so stupid," he starts. "So easy to manipulate. I didn't struggle much, did I? I just let you make all the decisions, let you play us like we're goddamned dolls!"

He's shouting by the end and still Joon Young looks back impassively.

"Why did you let this happen? Why didn't you stop him?"

"Why don't you ask me instead?" Min speaks from the top of the stairs. He's been doing some work in one of the bedrooms, when he heard the shouting. He walks down the steps, and looks at his hyung, arms crossed over his chest. "I'm the one who did it. I'm the one who made that choice. Stop treating me like a kid."

Hyun turns to him, and he's crying. "You promised me," he says to Min. "You promised you'll come to me first."

"I did it for you," Min retorts. 

"Did you think that'll make me happy?" Hyun runs his fingers through his hair. "That you made that kind of choice for me without even consulting me?"

"I didn't think you'd mind. The man deserved it. We were just putting down a mad dog."

Hyun slaps Min across the face, and it shocks him into silence.

Joon Young steps in. "Please go back upstairs, Min-a. Your brother and I will call you later."

Min's glare is a mixture of hot rage and cold promise, and his hand reaches up to touch his cheek. But he turns his back on them and does as he's told. 

"That wasn't very nice," Joon Young says.

Hyun rubs his face. "I know. But I just couldn't bear hearing him talk like that. So why don't you tell me, Lee Joon Young, exactly how did you raise Min all these years? What did you teach him? Did you show him how to do it? How to hurt people? How to dispose of the body? What exactly did you do to my brother, you asshole!"

For the first time, Joon Young raises his voice. "I taught him to _control_ it!"

Hyun opens his mouth, and then closes it with a snap. 

So Joon Young continues, taking a step closer to Hyun. "Min was a temperamental child. Prone to killing animals. He couldn't be trusted around other children his age. He liked bugs, liked finding different ways to kill them. He threw tantrums every day for months, calling for you. He threw tantrums over other things, too. If he didn't like the food. If the bed was too hard. He cried himself sick so many times that I had to buy fever reducer in bulk. He was a complete and total brat, and I must have thought a million times of killing him."

"Why didn't you?"

"For you," Joon Young says. "I took him from you, but I really thought I was doing it for both your sakes. I kept him alive, because I didn't want you to hate me."

Hyun shakes his head, eyes closed. The other man's words were swimming in his head.

"He finally calmed down after I promised him he will see you again. When that happened, he started asking questions, started listening to the answers. He was a bright child. Not as smart as you, but brilliant in his own way."

Hyun feels Joon Young take another step. He should move away, but he stays still. _Is this how the deer feels in front of the lion?_

"Yes, I taught him all those things, Hyun-a. But I taught him so he wouldn't be stupid about it. When he was eleven he almost killed a classmate. I had to change our identities again. Eventually I had to take him out of school altogether and teach him at home. The only people his age he interacted with were my lost children. It took years before he could get ahold of his temper. Years of breakdowns and thrown glasses. Years of attempts on my life."

He could almost see it. Teenage Min with that same rage in his eyes. Hyun rubs at the tears on his cheeks. "What happened next?"

"He finally learned to control it. To plan his every action. To take revenge on people slowly and deliberately. He left college with a lot of ruined lives in his wake, but they were deserved and fitting punishments. Corrupt or abusive teachers fired or jailed, and cheating students expelled. He became interested in the law, and it became another tool to help him process rage. Just like his art." Lee Joon Young studies Hyun before adding, softly, "He's as functional as I can make him, Hyun-a."

"But you wanted that man dead, too. You helped Min to kill him," Hyun says in a broken voice.

"Because even in jail he would have been a threat to you," Joon Young counters. "He still had money, and widespread contacts in the criminal world. He had an accomplice who broke into your office that hasn't been caught yet. The only way to ensure your safety is to silence him forever."

Hyun feels his heart break. "You always know the right words to say," he murmurs. "But I can't do this again. I'm not worth all this. If Min is like this because of me, then I shouldn't even be here..."

"He is who he is, whether you're here or not. We're all killers here, Hyun-a. Open your eyes. Is your love strong enough to withstand this? Or will you run away from the truth again?"

Hyun covers his face with his hands. He stiffens when he feels Joon Young's arms wrap around him. But he leans his forehead against the other man's shoulder. Why is it that this is the only place in the world he feels safe?

Perversely, this is the thought that galvanizes him. He pushes Joon Young away. "I can't. I'm sorry, but I can't. I'm not running away. Right now I'm just wide awake, and seeing everything for what it is." He looks up at Joon Young, whose eyes pierce right through him. "And what it is is _wrong_. _We're all wrong._ The three of us are just going to tear each other to pieces if we stay together."

\---

When Joon Young tells Min about Hyun's decision, he does so by himself. Hyun knows he is acting like a coward when he locks himself in the basement. It feels like he is reliving a childhood memory somehow.

Min doesn't take it well. 

His screams of rage reach Hyun's ears even as he trashes the bedroom. Broken furniture, torn books. He batters at the windows until they are nothing but shards, and Min's hands are bloody by the time he stops. Just stops, standing in the middle of the mess, almost swaying on his feet.

Joon Young sits him down and plucks the shards of glass from his palms. Then he wraps them in bandages before taking Min back to his place. 

Min follows meekly. His eyes are empty.

When there is nothing but silence in the house, Hyun emerges. He walks up the stairs, and cleans up the room, like it never happened. 

 

  



	2. Chapter 2

She receives a message from an unknown number. _I promised you a meal, Officer Cha. Are you free today?_

At a small restaurant, Attorney Jung treats her to a bowl of delicious and meaty soup. The side dishes are also plentiful and tasty, so she digs in. He digs in, too, eating like a child. It disarms her.

There are a lot of spills on the table when they are done. Min smiles at her sheepishly. "I guess we have something in common," he tells her.

"Yeah. My aunt shakes her head whenever she comes over to my place because I'm so messy," Cha Ji An confesses.

He laughs. "You know, I really find you interesting, Officer Cha. You keep surprising me." He leans towards her. "You remind me of my first love."

Cha Ji An raises her eyebrows. His tone is strange, a little bit like he's flirting, but also somehow empty. Like he's forcing himself to do it. And he sounds hoarse.

"What's your first love like?" She asks, instead. _Are they a man or a woman?_

Min's face transforms in front of her eyes. It softens, and he looks like he wants to cry. "Someone really special. Smart, and caring, and brave. One of those heroic types. A little bit like you," he adds, smiling at her again. 

She's starting to feel uncomfortable about this, so she deliberately brings up Lee Hyun. "What about your latest love? How does he measure up?"

But he replies, "I thought he was similar, but I guess I was wrong. Hyun broke up with me. He might resign and go back to America. I don't even know."

Cha Ji An feels her stomach sink. 

Because she doesn't know how to quit, she comes to Lee Hyun's office later in the day and asks him point blank. "Are you going back to New York?"

Hyun contemplates her. "Where did you hear that? Eavesdropping again, Officer Cha?"

"No! Attorney Jung told me. Why? Is it because of the last case?"

Hyun grits his teeth. "Attorney Jung did what?"

"He took me out for a meal." Cha Ji An can't meet his eyes. "He said the two of you broke up."

"Oh," Hyun says, then breathes in slowly and deliberately. 

"Do you need somebody to talk to?" Cha Ji An asks awkwardly. "I mean, it must be hard if nobody else knows."

"Thank you, Officer Cha. But I am perfectly fine. And for your information, I am merely taking a week off to wind up some things back there. Get the rest of my belongings, put the house on the market, that sort of thing. I will be back. My medical leave will also be over by then."

"Ah, I see." She looks happier, which makes Hyun frown. 

"I meant what I said to you before," he adds. "I don't know why you feel you need to go after that person..."

"My father went missing the same night he escaped. I'm pretty sure Lee Joon Young killed him," Cha Ji An blurts out. "Just like he did yours. And you don't have to help me look for him, but it would be nice to talk about it to someone who would understand."

Hyun barely hides his shock. He chews the inside of his cheek. Did Min and Joon Young know about her? The most probably answer is yes. So why didn't they let him know? Didn't they trust him? _Well you're leaving them now, so obviously you're not to be trusted after all,_ he tells himself.

"I'm sorry," he finally says. "But I would really prefer not to involve myself in this." 

"But, what about as a psychologist?" Cha Ji An leans on his table. "Can't I come to you for that?"

Hyun is torn between pushing her away--for her own good--and keeping her in his sight. If she's really going after Lee Joon Young, he needs to know everything she knows. 

_Why am I doing this to myself?_ He asks, pressing his palms to his eyes. "I can take a look at my schedule after I get back, Cha Ji An-sshi."

"I'd like that," she smiles at him. "And I hope you and Attorney Jung manage to work things out."

_You have no idea._

\---

His apartment in New York feels cold. Hyun surveys the paintings, the books and psychology journals. He doesn't really want any of them. 

Why did he come here? The city is crowded as always. Nobody looks at him twice. Nobody cares. He walks and walks, lost in the sweep of people, lost in his own thoughts, until he finds himself at the edge of Central Park. There's a spot there that he likes, at a fountain just beside the water. He walks down the familiar path until he reaches it.

The angel greets him like an old friend. Hyun sits on the lip of the fountain and dips a finger in the water. The Angel of the Waters supposedly had healing properties, but could it heal whatever was broken within him? He had read about this place years before, had read about the woman who had made this work of art. Emma Stebbins was her name, and she had a lover named Charlotte. 

Love broke the rules even then. He shades his eyes and looks up at the sky. And wonders if he has made the right choice.

\---

Work is the only thing he has now. Work is what gets Min out of bed every morning. There are precedents to research, and injunctions to file. He buries himself in the words. Until he gets called into his boss's office and gets handed a file.

"I think you're ready for your first solo case, Attorney Jung."

Min bows, deep, and remembers to paste a smile on his face. "I will not let you down, sajangnim."

\---

The house is too empty now and at the same time brimming with memories he'd rather not relive. And Hyun is conscious of how Lee Joon Young is within shouting--and touching--distance. So when he gets back to Korea, he finds a small officetel to rent. He doesn't put up any art. He doesn't unpack his books. He just can't be bothered to make the place anything like a home.

Instead, he takes out a tube from his suitcase, and drives out to Min's place.

"What are you doing here?" Min asks sullenly at the door.

"I brought you something from New York," Hyun replies, offering the plastic tube. There is a rolled print inside. But Min ignores it.

"You said you were breaking up with me."

"Min-a," Hyun starts. "When I said that, I meant that I should be your hyung instead."

"It's a little too late for that!" They're visible from the street, and some of his neighbors are watching, so Min snarls and lets him in. But they're still in the hallway when he speaks again. "You think I wouldn't have killed for you if we weren't together like that? Nothing will ever change how I feel. Not the years we spent apart, and not now that you left me again."

Hyun closes his eyes. His every instinct is shouting at him to wrap his arms around Min and just hold tight. But he stays still.

"You can't even look me in the eye because you think I'm a monster. That's what you thought when we were kids, and you still think that now. So why are you still pretending to love me, _hyung_? When you've already given up on me?"

The words feel like whips across his face. Hyun opens his eyes and takes a step forward. Min turns towards him, expecting a rebuttal, or an excuse. But Hyun just grabs the back of Min's neck and pulls him down, and he kisses him on the forehead, a hard press of lips wet from his own tears. And he places his gift leaning against a wall and he leaves.

After he is gone, Min leans against the wall, too, and slides down until he is on the floor. His tirade left him tired and numb. He slides open the tube and unrolls the print. In it, a marble Perseus stands naked in the late afternoon sun, casting shadows as he holds his sword in one hand, and Medusa's head in the other. 

_I wish I were made of stone, too,_ Min thinks, carefully rolling up the print again. _Come back to me, hyung. Please._

\---

Hyun receives a call. It is Detective Yang, now at home, reminding him about the thing he promised to give him. Hyun takes down the address. "I'll see you there."

He expects the man to sit him down and reminisce. But he just hands over the notebook. "Read it later. Go on. I'm an old man, and I need my rest."

Hyun accepts the black memo book. "I appreciate it." Detective Yang waves him off. There's a look almost of relief on his face, like he's passing over a heavy burden, and feels much lighter now.

Later, after yet another sleepless night, Hyun pages through the collection of clippings, notes, and even receipts. A lot of it is rumor, or articles repeating the same set of 'facts.' But there are some genuine leads, for all that they led the detective to some dead ends. 

One note from a case back in 1993 catches his eye. An entire family, including the staff, just disappeared. It matches Lee Joon Young's modus operandi exactly. It's the earliest possible case in the memo book. Almost twenty years ago. Joon Young would have been younger than Min is now. 

There's an address written in a different ink, as if added later, and Hyun runs a finger across it. What would he find if he went there? A part of Joon Young he doesn't want to share? Maybe the part he's been treasuring all these years? The real reason he kills?

Hyun's first impulse is to destroy the notebook, or at least hide it where nobody could ever find it. Then he leans back and laughs to himself. _I'm doing the exact same thing that they were. I'm trying to protect them._

He hasn't planned on telling Joon Young about this, but now it seems rude not to. Like he somehow violated a trust.

Hyun takes out another thing he bought on his trip, something he picked up on a whim before sanity could reassert itself. Except nobody actually buys things like these on a whim. He flicks open the box and stares at the watch inside. 

With a sigh, he closes it again and stuffs it back in his luggage. He grabs the notebook instead and heads out.

Lee Joon Young greets him at the door like nothing happened. "You're just in time for tea," he says, smiling. 

Hyun waits until the other man pours him a cup, before taking out the notebook. He clears his throat before speaking, "I have something that pertains to you."

Joon Young raises both eyebrows. "What, no present from New York?" He has heard of his visit to Min's apparently. 

Remembering the watch he left behind, Hyun flushes. "It's about your past," he says instead.

All traces of humor drains from Joon Young's face. "What about it?" He asks, voice carefully neutral.

Hyun turns the pages of the memo book until he comes to the article from 1993, and without another word, hands it over to the other man.

"Ah," Joon Young says, after a glance at the open page. "Have you gone to that place?"

"No," Hyun answers. "I wasn't sure if you'd mind or not."

"And this notebook belongs to whom?" Lee Joon Young asks.

Hyun internally winces. "A man who is retiring from the service. He's done looking for you."

Joon Young leans forward to watch his expression. "You think he is in danger from me?"

"Everyone's in danger from you," Hyun retorts. 

Joon Young looks pleased. "Very true. But don't worry about your Detective Yang." Hyun barely stops himself from reacting to that name on the Joon Young's lips. "He's persistent, but too much of a fool. He's safe from me. Now Officer Cha Ji An, on the other hand..." He sips from his tea and looks out into the garden. "She could very well piece things together, couldn't she? She has the drive, and even a bit of intelligence."

Hyun bites his lip. "She told me what happened to her father."

"Did she? Ah, asking for your help, I assume."

Hyun nods. "I don't want her to get hurt," he says. _I don't want you to get hurt,_ he thinks.

Lee Joon Young smiles at him almost shyly. _I won't. I promise._ "Don't worry too much, Hyun-a. Things will work out. Maybe Officer Cha will even get what she wants the most. And as for the address in the notebook, if ever you're interested, I could come and give you a tour."

Hyun studies him. "But not yet?"

"No, not yet." Joon Young says, eyes meeting his for a moment. "You're not ready yet."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm off work today, sick from whatever's going around. So here, have another chapter. I think this story will be the second to the last one. (Don't even know what will happen in the last...) Anyone interested in reading meta of some sort? Or just tell me what you want me to write about, as for sure, I'll be doing a "DVD extras" kinda thing.


	3. Chapter 3

Min turns the key in the lock and pushes the door open. The first thing he notices is the sound of whistling coming from further in. The voice is a familiar one. He walks down the hallway, into the kitchen and straight into samchon's arms.

He would have stayed longer there, but samchon gently untangles his arms and pushes him away. "Dinner will be ready in a little while. Why don't you wash up first?"

Min puts his briefcase away and washes his hands then comes back to watch as the other man handles a knife deftly, chopping the vegetables and mixing them together in a bowl. Samchon has tried more than once to teach him to cook, but it has never been a pleasure to him the way it is to others. And nowadays, eating alone just makes him feel emptier than he already does.

"How's your case? Is it progressing well?" Joon Young asks, after he has served them both. 

Min eats a few mouthfuls before answering. "I've submitted the statement of defence. The preliminary sessions will start soon."

Lee Joon Young nods. "This is for the young woman accused of killing her husband, isn't it?"

"Yes," Min replies. "I could make it appear as accidental manslaughter and go for a reduced sentence, but I think I would rather pin it on somebody else. The evidence is circumstantial at best. The lazy cops just didn't investigate further. I'm sure I can dig up other suspects in time for the trial." 

"I'm sure you will. I believe in you, Min-a," Joon Young says, giving him a brief, but proud smile. 

Min feels his ribcage expand. But he looks down, instead. The truth is, he still feels shaky on most days. There's this urge to kill growing under his breast bone every time he wakes up by himself. And yet, if he did that, then he really will lose his hyung. So Min ends up indecisively doing nothing. Sometimes he loses track of the days just thinking about it. For now, though, having a case is enough to ground him, because there are meetings to attend and schedules to work out.

He clears his throat. "The law is funny, isn't it? They're just words. But you can save a man, or condemn him, if you choose which words you use. I wasn't sure, before, if this is something that I want to do for the rest of my life, but I'm finding it really interesting."

"That's good." Joon Young ruffles his hair. "We all are just searching for a place to belong to. So it's good that you found yours." 

He says the last a little sadly, and looks at the empty table setting across from him. Even now, hyung's absence follows them around like a ghost.

He looks up at the framed work hanging in his dining room. He painted it in the last few months, an abstract in blue and red that was meant to represent the three of them together. With a pang, he realizes he hasn't picked up his brush since that day. But what was there to paint? 

\---

In his office at the university, right across from him, Cha Ji An fidgets in her chair. Their positions are reversed this time, with Hyun asking the questions. It is clearly something she isn't comfortable with.

Questions on her mother, her father, and even her aunt, are all met with defensiveness. Questions on her relationships with her colleagues, her challenges as a female cop, her experiences with criminals are then met with indifference. It's not a new thing. On the whole,  
cops are a stoic bunch; they can talk his ear off on any given topic, except the ones that matter. 

Hyun sighs, and puts his pen down and closes the notebook he is using. It is a tactic which often relaxes patients, and it works like magic on Officer Cha. "Let's not waste any more of our time. Why don't you tell me what you want to talk about, instead."

She leans forward. "Do you really not remember me?"

Hyun frowns. "Have we met before?"

She mirrors his frown, clearly disappointed. "I thought you were intelligent, but you have a bad memory, don't you?"

Hyun crosses his arms across his chest. "Maybe you were just not that memorable, Officer Cha."

Cha Ji An waves her hands as if to brush his words away. "It doesn't matter. Just please tell me everything you remember about Lee Joon Young."

 _He's funny and smart and completely ruthless,_ Hyun thinks, looking away from her. _And I miss him like crazy._ "Why? I told you, didn't I? You'll never catch him."

"At least I'm trying to," she retorts. "Is it alright that he killed so many people, and yet nobody is even looking for him?"

Hyun remembers Detective Yang. He has handed in his official retirement, and is undergoing treatment nowadays. At least there's little chance that he and Officer Cha will cross paths.

"I mean, imagine how many more people he's killed by now," Cha Ji An continues. "There were never any bodies, so we might never know the exact number."

"No bodies, except for one," Hyun interrupts, voice whisper-soft.

Cha Ji An looks at him. "Your father," she says. "He left your father's body. Why is that?"

Hyun raises his eyebrows. "Why are you asking me?"

"Because you know him, don't you?" Cha Ji An leans forward. "I remember they were saying that you met him when you were young. The two of you had a connection."

Hyun admires the way she turned things around again, transforming his office, his space, into hers: an interrogation room. "So what if we did?" His voice is low, almost threatening. "Do you really want my help to catch Lee Joon Young? Or do you just want to use me as bait, because you think he will come back for me?"

Cha Ji An leans back at that, breath whooshing out. He recognizes the look on her face. It's guilt. "No, but you work for the police now," she says, trying to justify herself. "Are you telling me you really don't want justice for your father and brother?"

"Is that what you think I'm here for?" He asks. "Justice?" He studies her expression. "It won't bring him back, you know. Nothing will ever bring him back."

Cha Ji An feels the tears prick her eyes. "But when I finally get that man behind bars, it will feel amazing," she says defiantly.

"Maybe," Hyun says, standing up and walking to the window. "But you see, I discovered something, Officer Cha. The first time they caught him, they didn't have any evidence against him. So they made it up." He looks back at her. "The _cops_ made it up. My _father_ made it up. And even then, they couldn't keep him in jail. Be careful what lines you cross for your justice. Is it really worth losing yourself? Tell me, Officer Cha, how far are you really willing to go?" 

She looks at him like his words haven't penetrated yet. He looks down at his watch. "Your session is done. I will see you in two weeks, Officer Cha."

Cha Ji An walks out of the office in a daze.

\---

"Beom Ji Hyeok-sshi, your marriage to Kim Yeong-eun was an arranged one, isn't that right?" The prosecutor asks, looming in intimidation over the woman on the stand.

Min's client nods. "Ye. My parents talked it over with his parents." 

"Then if you don't mind my asking, did you love your husband?"

She looks uncomfortable. Min bows his head to roll his eyes without anyone seeing. "I don't know. We weren't married long enough for that," she finally says.

"But you fought, didn't you? The neighbors all heard your shouting matches." There is a smug smile on the prosecutor's face, and it makes Min long for a knife in his hand, instead of the pen he is using to take down notes.

Ji Hyeok starts tearing up. Min looks her over approvingly. She is dressed in a simple, white blouse and a modest and sober dark blue skirt. Her hair is pulled back in a ponytail, and her face is bare of makeup to emphasize her youth. "We were newlyweds," she says in her wavering voice. "But my husband stayed out all night without telling me anything. When I asked him where he was, he would start shouting that I was a busybody."

"Did he scare you, Beom Ji Hyeok-sshi? Did he scare you enough that you took a knife from the rack in your kitchen and stabbed him with it? The knife that was a wedding present to the both of you?"

The woman sobs harder, shaking her head. 

"If you didn't do it, tell us where you were that night," the prosecutor says.

But Beom Ji Hyeok's alibi is weak, and difficult to prove. After establishing that, the prosecutor finally steps back. "No further questions, your honor."

Min stands up, and offers Ji Hyeok a handkerchief to wipe her tears. He waits until she has calmed herself down a little before asking. "How long did you know your husband before marriage?"

"We met three times before the ceremony," she answers.

"And how long were you married before his unfortunate passing?"

"Less than two months."

"Not long enough to fall in love," Min comments. "But is it long enough to start to hate him?"

Beom Ji Hyeok looks down at her hands clutching the handkerchief between them. "No. I never hated him. I was miserable but I didn't hate him. And I didn't kill him, I swear!" 

"Have you met any of his friends?" 

"Just the ones from his work. They attended the wedding," Ji Hyeok explains. "He didn't introduce anyone else to me while we were married."

"What do you know of your husband's habits, Beom Ji Hyeok-sshi?"

"Not much," she admits. "He was meticulous about his clothes. He liked high-quality things, from his shoes to his food. He didn't like me touching his things, especially his computer or his phone."

"And he didn't sleep at home several times a week?" Min adds. "That's not a long list, isn't it?"

Ji Hyeok nods. "I don't think I ever really knew him."

Min smiles at her. "No further questions, your honor."

The three judges are frowning. One of them reads from a list. "You said you have other witnesses to call to the stand, Attorney Jung?"

"Yes," Min says, straightening up. "Since Beom Ji Hyeok-sshi doesn't seem to know her husband very well, I thought we might be more enlightened by testimony from his close, personal friends."

In the audience, an old man bearing a close resemblance to the victim starts to look agitated.

\---

Lee Joon Young flips through the detective's memo book. It isn't comprehensive by any means, and there are crimes wrongly attributed to him, but there are surprisingly more hits than misses. It's enough to inspire a certain amount of nostalgia. 

Especially the one on the last page, the clipping from 1993, with a familiar address written beside it.

He pulls out his phone and thumbs through the contacts until he finds a particular name, swiping it to dial. It rings twice before someone picks up. 

"Yoboseyo," he speaks. "Annyeong haseyo, Park Joo Aah-sshi. It's been a while. Are you free anytime this week?"

\---

He meets her in a derelict park with overgrown weeds choking the rusty playground equipment. He holds a candle and lights it, placing it on top of a small flat stone. He clasps his hands together and gives a little bow. 

"You should have brought a bottle of soju instead," Park Joo Aah speaks from behind him. "Your grandfather liked to drink, I remember."

He turns to smile at her. "Oh, but why would I give him something he likes?"

Joo Ah's expression is a cross between compassion and pain. He extends a hand and she takes it, and they stand there for a moment, remembering.

"Why did you call me?" She finally asks. "What's wrong?"

Lee Joon Young sighs. "I thought I could finally have everything I ever wanted. But why can't I keep it?"

"Lee Hyun-sshi?" She asks. When Joon Young nods, she purses her lips. "Do you think he loves you?"

"He never said so," Lee Joon Young says, frowning. "How do you know?"

Park Joo Ah wracks her brain for an explanation. Somewhere along the way, she had become, to him, a sort of guide into how it is to be a normal human being. But she often feels just as clueless as he does.

\---

She meets someone's eyes while walking along the hallway. The young man hurriedly looks away. But Cha Ji An is good at remembering faces.

When she enters Lee Hyun's office, she points behind her, "That was Officer Choi Eun-Bok-sshi wasn't it? Is he undergoing therapy, too?"

Hyun narrows his eyes at her. "You're good at remembering things, Officer Cha. But can you forget things as well? Forget whoever you see coming from my office. Privacy and discretion is a vital part of what I do."

Cha Ji An crosses her arms. "Why? Is he hiding something?"

Lee Hyun stands up, and opens the door. "Your session is cancelled, Officer Cha. And it will remain cancelled until you've learned some basic manners." 

Cha Ji An sits down on a chair instead. "Araso. I understand. I won't ask any more questions about Officer Choi."

Hyun pinches the bridge of his nose then goes back to the chair across from her. "Just don't forget, invasion of privacy is a double-edged sword, Cha Ji An-sshi. You will not come anywhere near Officer Choi. Or I will make your life very difficult. Is that clear?"

"Is he special to you?" She asks, thinking, _How old will his brother be by now?_

"He's not my brother," Hyun answers her unspoken question in a hard tone. Then he concedes, "but he reminds me of him, so I am feeling a little overprotective." Then he deliberately changes the subject. "Officer Cha, did you think about the question I asked you? How far are you willing to go?"

She lifts her chin. "I'll do it right this time. I'll catch him with my own two hands." Then she hesitates. "I just have a problem."

"What?"

"Lee Joon Young's fingerprints are missing. If what you say is true that the cops drummed up fake charges against him sixteen years ago, why would they make his fingerprints disappear? Why are they protecting him?"

Hyun looks away from her. This is news to him, too, though it makes sense how Joon Young manages to work right under the nose of the police. "Maybe because he _did_ have an accomplice. Someone other than your father."

"You know who it is, don't you?" Cha Ji An accuses him. 

"What I suspect and what I can prove are two very different things," he informs her. "Corruption is not something you can easily cut out. If it is deeply rooted, then one thread can bring down the whole organization. It's not a job for someone like you."

"Why? Because I'm a woman?" She flings back at him.

"Because you are powerless and alone," Hyun says. "Don't start something you cannot finish."

"But if you help me..."

Hyun shakes his head. "You seem to think everything is black and white, Cha Ji An-sshi. Everyone is either on your side or working for the enemy. That's not how life is."

"What are you really saying?" She asks.

"I'm saying this is as far as I can go," Hyun answers. "I don't remember that time very well. All I remember was the guilt. But that is a burden I've already set down behind me. I wish you will find peace, Ji An-sshi. This will be our last session together."

"But," she asks, grabbing his arm, "what about your brother? Aren't you even going to look for him?"

Hyun looks her in the eye. "My brother is dead."

Hours after she has left, Hyun is still staring at his steepled hands. Cha Ji An could very well guess who he was talking about. He lived with Hyun Ji Soo for almost a decade. But although she claims to think of him as her real son, that hadn't really been the case. 

At ten years old, he was already self-sufficient, and she was busy with her work. She made an effort to share meals with him once in a while, and supported him when he decided to study abroad. But she didn't know how to talk to a too-smart, strangely withdrawn boy drowning in his own guilt and grief. It had gotten better only when he had learned some passable social skills. They both got better at pretending.

He doesn't want her to die at his hands or anyone else's. But if he left her alone, Cha Ji An could possibly get ahold of Lee Joon Young's real fingerprints. And that is equally unacceptable. 

So Hyun calls a familiar number. "Ahjumma," he says. "Where are you now? Do you have some time?"

\---

She's still in her office. It's not a place he visits often, but he knows she considers it more of a home than the house she goes to every night.

He makes sure to lock the door behind him when he enters. It's a move she doesn't miss. 

"Is there something wrong, Hyun-a?"

He sits down on the chair across from her desk and watches her expression turn from alert to worried. 

"You're starting to scare me! Tell me, did something happen?" She reaches out to him but he catches her hand in his, trapping it between his palms. 

"You replaced Lee Joon Young's fingerprints in the files," he says flatly. "Why is that?"

Hyun Ji Soo bit her lips. It's a wonder she lasted this long with the secrets that she keeps. Her face reads like an open book to him.

"You were afraid," he answers his own question. "Afraid that if he got caught then you would be implicated. Isn't that right?"

"Hyun-a," she says weakly. "I'm sorry. I really didn't mean for things to come this far."

"I know," he says. He feels empty all of a sudden. "But you kept it, didn't you?"

His foster mother looks away from him. 

"I know it's tainted evidence now. The court will never accept it, even if you did find a match," Hyun tells her gently. "So I need you to give it to me."

"Why?" She shakes her head in bewilderment. "I've held onto it like fool for all these years. What can you do with it that I can't?"

"I can destroy it, and maybe save your life in the process."

Blood drains from her face. "Is he back?" She whispers.

Hyun looks down. "Omoni, did you ever think that maybe he never left?" It is the first, and last time he would call her mother.

He walks out of her office with a file in his briefcase.

\---

Lee Joon Young receives a package in the mail. It contains a police file with his name on it. And a note in a familiar hand. _She's no danger to you now._

He smiles softly. _Good boy._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notice me tying up loose ends. Haha. Still planning the next fic, though, so enjoy the update for now... Thanks to everyone still reading! 
> 
> Also, new thing I learned: Korean women don't actually take their husband's last names. (And I've been watching Kdramas for over ten years! I'm a slow learner I guess. Or it's just that most shows end in the marriage itself. Haha.)


	4. Chapter 4

"How long have you known Kim Yeong-eun?" Min asks the nervous man on the stand.

"Years," Yoon Tae Kang stutters out. "Uh, we met in college."

"And how often do you meet with each other since you graduated?"

"Every other month or so."

Min raises his eyebrows. "That's pretty often given that you work in very different professions, Mr. Yoon."

"Objection," the prosecutor says. "I don't see the relevance of this line of questioning."

"I will get straight to the point, then," Min says, before leaning over the flustered man. "How long has it been since you became lovers, Mr. Yoon?"

The prosecutor objects again, and the whispers among the audience rises so the judges bang their gavels and call for silence. In the meantime, the man starts to cry.

"Answer my question, please," Min says softly. "And remember you swore an oath, Mr. Yoon."

"Since second year in college," he admits. "He told his family about us, but they arranged a marriage for him instead."

"But you continued to see each other," Min says.

Yoon Tae Kang nods. "I tried, but in the end, I couldn't stay away."

"You loved him too much," Min murmurs. "Enough to be jealous of the woman by his side? Enough to want to keep him all to yourself? Tell me, Mr. Yoon, where were you on the night Kim Yeong-eun died?"

Yoon pales. "No, I didn't do it! He was alive when I left, I swear," he starts babbling.

Min leans back, allowing himself a small smile of satisfaction. "No further questions, your honor."

The prosecutor glares at him. But Min doesn't let it bother him.

\---

The case against Beom Ji Hyeok is eventually dismissed, although the prosecutor asked for more time to investigate their new suspect. Min counts it as a win, anyway. Saving his client, after all, is the point of this exercise.

He turns to walk out of the courtroom, a grateful Ji Hyeok-sshi beside him, when he sees a familiar back amongst the audience already streaming out to the hallways and down the steps. It looks like hyung.

He bows down to his client, makes his excuses, and slides through the crowd, eyes already fixed far ahead. Did his hyung come to watch his first case? His heart is pounding, even as he almost flies down the steps into the parking lot where he could swear Hyun had disappeared to.

He notices the presence at his back too late. Someone hits him over the head, and grabs him just as he loses consciousness.

\---

"I thought I told you that I'm not doing this anymore!" Hyun growls out at Cha Ji An. She slides her foot further in the room so he can't close the door on her. 

"Wait a second," she pleads. "I just need to confirm something with you. It's about your foster mother."

Hyun hates himself for reacting, but he freezes for a moment, and she slips through the space under his arm into his office. "What about her?"

"She's the one you were talking about, right?"

"How did you come to that conclusion?" Hyun asks, even as his mind races through the possibilities. If Cha Ji An comes clean to Ahjumma...

"She had Lee Joon Young's file in her safe," Cha Ji An says. "She's involved somehow. And her career is littered with exemplary arrests that just doesn't make sense unless she has a really good informant."

Then his cellphone rings. Hyun almost doesn't answer it, but he needs a moment to think, so he turns away from her expectant gaze. The name Jung Sun-ho lights up on his screen. He waves a hand to get her to move away even as he presses the green button and holds the phone up to his ear. "Sun-ho-sshi?" He asks softly.

But there is no answer. Just background noise, what sounds like grunts, someone breathing loudly. At first, Hyun flushes. Did Min call him so he could listen to him getting fucked by someone else?

But then the breaths become moans, and when it comes to Min, Hyun can tell the difference between moans of pain and of pleasure. Someone is hurting his brother. 

He turns to Cha Ji An with a wild look on his face. "I need you to get me the location of this number," he tells her, voice low but hard as rock. "Now!"

She dials a friend's number from memory. Go Eun Tak is someone she knows from the academy, and now works in technical assistance. She relays Lee Hyun's message, and repeats the number that he dictates even as she runs right behind him. He unlocks his car, and slips a bluetooth earpiece on, thumbing it open so he can still hear the sounds over the line. She slides into the passenger seat, and checks her holster on automatic. Her gun is there. 

Eun Tak gives her the coordinates. "Here," Hyun says, handing her the GPS so she can punch in the string of numbers.

When she's done, he then grabs her phone and dials a number on it. "Ya," she says on reflex. But he ignores her. 

"Sun-ho's in trouble. I'm coming with Officer Cha Ji An-sshi," he says in an almost clinical tone of voice before uttering the coordinates that he reads from the GPS screen. Then he ends the call without another word and tosses the phone in her lap.

"Who was that?" Cha Ji An asks, looking down at her screen. The number is not familiar to her.

"Sun-ho-sshi's uncle," he tells her tersely. "He'll meet us there."

 _Why him?_ She wants to ask, but instead says, "I can call for back-up if you tell me what's going on." There's a lilt at the end as if she is asking for permission. Things are moving so fast that she still isn't sure what the problem is, exactly. 

Hyun shrugs. "I don't know yet. I just have this bad feeling. You can call Detective Son if you think he'll come."

She does just that.

Somewhere along the way, Min's call to him drops. Hyun feels his stomach drop with it. He steps harder on the accelerator even as his passenger protests.

Their destination is an old factory in the middle of nowhere. It is surrounded by fencing and posted with signs declaring it a building slated for demolition, with warnings against trespassers. 

Cha Ji An wants to wait for back-up, but he won't let her, so they compromise. Hyun lets her take the lead, even though his every instinct is screaming at him to rush inside. She has her gun out.

For an abandoned building, the air is full of noises. The wind whistles through the broken windows. The loose gravel skitters under their feet. Animal noises, too, fill the air. Rats, most likely, and an owl hooting further away. But Hyun soon filters them out, and hears, ever so faintly, the sound of a man's voice. 

He touches Officer Cha's shoulder and points out the direction. She slows down, taking careful steps into the interior of the building. He follows her example, knowing instinctively that if they lose the element of surprise, it could go very badly for Min.

They creep through the twisting hallways, until the sounds become clearer. In a small room without windows, a man is kicking at something, cursing all the while. "You stupid little shit! Airing our dirty laundry to everyone. You're just like my useless son who can't even do as he's told. Can't even get it up for a woman, that fool! Should have killed him in the cradle, that ungrateful bastard! How about I gut you like I gutted him?"

Hyun peeks through the door just long enough to see Min lying prone on the ground, hands tied behind his back. His face is bloody, and he is curled up, trying to protect his ribs from the man's repeated assaults.

His blood boils. But before he could run inside, Cha Ji An preempts him, stepping into the room and calling for the man to freeze while she cocks her gun.

But the man is faster than they both expect. He turns, face contorted in rage, and brandishing a knife in one hand. She stumbles back when he rushes at her, and though she manages to deflect his weapon, he also grabs for hers. 

He is not a young man. His hair is white and his face is lined. But he has the build of a stevedore. It takes her all the strength she has just to keep him from pinning her down.

He slaps her with an open hand and she hits the wall hard, leaving her momentarily stunned. The man turns back to Min still holding his knife low and takes an intent step forward even as the gun skitters away, sliding across the floor, close to Hyun's feet. The reptilian part of his brain reacts. 

He picks up the gun and shoots the man. Three shots, at mid-range, close to his center mass. Then he keeps the muzzle trained on him, watching until the convulsions stop, and the man's chest no longer rises and falls. 

For a long, breathless moment, Hyun stands there with the gun while both Cha Ji An and Min stare at him.

And that's when the past hits him like a sledgehammer to the head. He staggers, dropping the gun, and then falls to his knees as the memories surge over him like waves upon waves pounding against the shore. 

The hyacinths on the table covered in blood, his mother's voice calling out in panic for them to run, the man standing by the door, bloody knife in hand, Min curled up at his back under his father's desk, the bag on the chair, and the feel of the gun in his hand as he aims then pulls the trigger. 

He goes under.

\---

Cha Ji An unravels the bindings on Attorney Jung's wrists. His phone is in his hands. The younger man seems to have managed to dial Hyun's number without looking, a feat that would normally impress her, but she has other things racing through her mind.

He seems mostly unhurt, though he would need x-rays for his ribs, and half his face is already swollen and bloody. He stands up, though he almost falls again were it not for Cha Ji An's arm around his shoulder. 

"Is he alright?" He slurs out, eyes only on Hyun's still body.

"He's not hurt," she says, trying for reassuring even though her voice is trembling too. "It's something else, I think."

A man steps out from the shadows. 

"Samchon," Jung Sun-ho says in a broken voice. 

Cha Ji An looks up to see Dr. Lee Joon Ho, still in his white coat. The man calmly steps to Hyun's side, examining his eyes with a flashlight and reading his pulse. "He's fine. It's probably just the shock." Then he stands up and steps towards them. "Now what did you get yourself into, Attorney Jung?"

"I was distracted. He got to me in the parking lot after the hearing," he admits while the doctor holds his head and tilts it so he could examine the wound at the back. Dr. Joon Ho also checks his pupils, and then presses his ribs to see if they're broken.

"Bruised, with possible fractures." He turns to her. "How about you, Officer Cha? Any injuries?"

She shakes her head. "Nothing an ice-pack won't cure," she says.

He pats Attorney Jung on the shoulder. "The ambulance is on its way. Though the police might get here faster. Make sure they check you out for concussion too. I think I'll take Lee Hyun-sshi home for now. He needs some rest." Dr. Joon Ho takes over her support of the lawyer and they make their way to Hyun's prone body. He guides Sun-ho down so he could run some fingers through Hyun's hair.

Cha Ji An is watching the three of them, still trying to catch up. "So you two are related?" She blurts out.

Dr. Lee Joon Ho turns to her, smiling softly. "Not by blood, but I practically raised this kid. Thank you for your help in this matter, Officer Cha. Can I trust you to watch over him and keep the scene secure before the authorities arrive? I really should get Lee Hyun out of here."

She nods. A suspicion is forming in her brain. Neither man even glances over to the dead body in the room. As if he had ceased to exist. The doctor gathers Lee Hyun in his arms and stands, staggering slightly.

"I guess I'm not as strong as I thought," he jokes a little, smiling ruefully at her. "If my back gives out, I'll get you to sue Lee Hyun-sshi for compensation, Sun-ho."

She smiles back on reflex, her guard relaxing. _There's no way..._

Attorney Jung stands, too, grabbing Hyun's hand and pressing a kiss to the palm before tucking it close to his body. "Are you taking him to his home? The officetel?"

"I'll just bring him back to his old house. Familiarity might be what's best for him right now." The doctor catches her eye and explains. "He gave me a key before he left so I could look after the place. Could you drive Attorney Jung there after the hospital?" Then he turns to the dead body. "I'll also need to call in an alternate M.E. to deal with this man. I don't think I can be objective in this matter. Not that the cause of death isn't clear. Kurom..." He bows to them and walks out.

Attorney Jung watches them go with eyes full of worry. From the distance, they start to hear the sirens.

"They didn't seem close at work," Cha Ji An comments idly. 

"Samchon didn't approve. Not right away," he says softly. "But I love him too much." He looks down at his hands. "I'm still hoping we can work things out," he whispers, as if in confession.

The half-formed thoughts in her head disappear as she hurries to reassure him. "He loves you too, I'm sure. You didn't see how frantic he was when he realized you were in danger."

Attorney Jung Sun-ho smiles at her in gratitude.

\---

Lee Joon Young knows full well how paper-thin his mask is. The monster rises close to the surface, and all he can do is deflect Cha Ji An's clouded gaze and hold Hyun in his arms. The walk back to his car is none too steady and it has nothing to do with his ability to carry Hyun's weight.

He could have stepped in sooner. But. Maybe he is just too used to observing, to witnessing the aftermath of violence. He had watched the scene unfold in front of him like a boy looking through the window. And in the end he only walked in when his legs hijacked his body, bypassing his brain completely.

Tenderly, he slides Hyun in the backseat, taking off his coat and using it as a makeshift pillow under Hyun's head, taking a moment to brush the hair from his face and cup his cheek. 

Then he gets in and drives them home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My poor babies. Hahaha. Just another chapter and an epilogue for this fic. Enjoy!


	5. Chapter 5

Because of Jung Sun-ho's injuries, Detective Son reluctantly hands him over to the paramedics, contenting himself with Cha Ji An's statement for the moment, even as the other M.E. arrives with a team of forensic techs. 

The dead man is identified as Kim Jae Il, the father of recently deceased Kim Yeong-eun. 

"I guess it has something to do with Attorney Jung's case," Cha Ji An says, hating that she doesn't have more concrete answers to give.

Detective Son eyes her like he's disappointed, too. "So the lawyer calls David and he somehow figures out that he's in trouble? That sounds far-fetched to me. What is he, a mind reader?"

"You've worked with him," she protests. "I don't know what he heard over the line. I certainly don't know how he thinks."

Son Myung Woo taps his pen against his mouth. "So you got here by tracking the signal of Attorney Jung's phone. And in the struggle, David manages to shoot the guy. So why isn't he here now? Where did he go?"

Cha Ji An shrugs helplessly. "He, he just collapsed. Then Attorney Jung's uncle comes in and takes him home." It feels like the weirdness of the situation is only hitting her now.

Detective Son looks like he wants to tear out his hair. "I guess a statement can wait," he mutters. "Are you going to be a bigger pain in the ass the longer we work together, Officer Cha?"

She snorts a little. "Probably."

"Yeah, laugh it up. You'll be doing a lot of paperwork for this one," he tells her. "Especially letting a civilian fire your weapon. We're lucky he didn't hit you instead."

Cha Ji An's smile drops. "Sunbae!"

\---

The two cops drop by the hospital just as Attorney Jung is trying to sign himself out. The doctor in charge protests, because the young man _did_ have a mild concussion in addition to the fractured ribs on his right side, and hairline cracks on his face. He had to get six stitches on his eyebrow, but everything else is just a matter of waiting-and-seeing. 

"I can do that at home," he stubbornly says. 

"You need to have someone wake you up every hour," the doctor says. "And you really shouldn't be on your feet. It's not good for your ribs."

"I'll make sure he rests," Officer Cha volunteers. "I'm supposed to be bringing him back home, and his uncle will be there, so he won't be alone."

"Why don't we all go?" Detective Son says. "So we can check in on David as well."

Attorney Jung looks put out at that, but he lets Cha Ji An take ahold of his arm. They all pile into Detective Son's car while Officer Cha gives the directions to Lee Hyun's place.

"How come you know that?" Son Myung Woo asks her, eyes flicking to the rear-view mirror.

Cha Ji An stutters an excuse. "Just, you know. An errand."

But the detective doesn't let it go. "And you were together when the attorney called. Lucky for you, eh, Attorney Jung?"

Min grits his teeth and answers, "Yes. Very lucky."

"So is there something going on between you and David?" The detective asks Cha Ji An. 

She leans forward so fast that the seatbelt almost chokes her. "No! No! Nothing's going on."

"Right," Detective Son says. 

"I just you know, needed someone to talk to after the last case," Cha Ji An explains so fast the words blur together. "So it just so happened that I was there, that's all."

"Aah," Min says in a low voice, trying to sound casual. "How has he been? I haven't seen him for a while."

"Actually," she murmurs, "he's been looking a little haggard these days. Like he hasn't been getting enough sleep."

Min is torn between gratitude and jealousy. 

Fortunately, the detective takes the rest of the ride as the opportunity to get his statement. Cha Ji An takes notes while he relates the events as he remembers them. "He admits to killing his own son," he adds. "So the case against Kim Yeong-eun's lover will probably be dismissed as well."

"So all this is because he is ashamed of his son's tastes," the detective muses. "That's really sad. I mean if that were me, my mom would probably kill me, too. But still, family is family."

Cha Ji An sneaks a look at Attorney Jung's face, but he does not react. "Some people are more accepting," she says.

"You can't please everyone," the young man says, finally. Then falls silent for the rest of the drive.

\---

A rain of blood down his mother's face. The man with a hole in his chest, leering at him. Min replacing him, holding a knife in his hand while Hyun pulls the trigger. The look on his father's face, the words in his notebook. _I think my son is a monster._ Min painting on a canvas using a dead man's blood as his medium. Min smiling at him when he wakes up. Min showing him the dog he had killed. Min. Min. Min. 

The nightmare follows him to the waking world. 

Lee Hyun's eyes blink open a few times, slowly adjusting to the dim light. The shadows in the room become familiar objects. And he realizes he is in his childhood bedroom. 

One memory leads to another, then another, as if the floodgates has been opened. And before he knows it, he is sitting up, face in his hands, trying to breathe through the pain in his chest.

The door opens and Lee Joon Young enters the room. Hyun barely registers his presence, but he feels the arms wrap around him, and he leans his forehead on the other man's shoulder. He smells of spices, of ginger and coriander. Hyun takes a deep breath, hands clutching at the man's shirt.

"It's my fault," he whispers through the pain. "It's all my fault."

"Hush," Joon Young says, kissing Hyun's hair. "It's okay, love. It's going to be okay."

\---

Attorney Jung knocks on the front door, the key burning a hole in his pocket. Nobody answers for a while, and then samchon finally opens the door. 

"How is he?" He blurts out before the cops behind him could speak.

"He's awake," samchon says, but there's a complicated expression on his face. "But I don't think he's ready for visitors just yet."

"But what's wrong with him?" Detective Son says. "And why are you here, Dr. Lee?"

Lee Joon-ho sighs and opens the door wider to let them in. "I can feed you all, at least." He leads them all to the dining room. There is a big pot in the middle and some bowls stacked beside it. "I made soup. There's rice and some steamed fish, as well. Please take a seat first." 

He takes out more plates from the cupboards and then scoops rice and serves the fish. 

"You seem very much at home here, doctor," Detective Son observes. 

"I live next door. Lee Hyun and I have had a few meals together. And also I'm here because Attorney Jung is something of a nephew of mine," the man explains. "You'll have to forgive the spareness of the meal. I didn't think any of us would have much of an appetite after what happened."

Jung Sun-ho grabs a bowl and fills it with soup. "Can I take it to him?"

"Aren't you supposed to be resting?" The doctor asks, one eyebrow raised. "Just eat a little then you can lie down in one of the rooms. He'll be fine, Sun-ho. He just needs some time, that's all."

"Time to what?" Cha Ji An asks. She feels their eyes on her, and she flushes. 

"It's not something I am comfortable discussing without his permission," the doctor says gently. "Let's just say that what he did in that building was traumatic for him, and he needs time to regain his equanimity, so to speak."

The cops in the room don't really buy it. From what Detective Son has seen of David, the man doesn't seem fazed by even the most brutal of crime scenes. He doesn't have any problem when the bad guys start shooting either. Sure, he probably never killed anyone before, but things like that happened in their line of work. 

Cha Ji An's thoughts are running along the same track. She saw him when he was shooting. His face was impassive, intent, and utterly focused. That wasn't the expression of someone easily affected. Whatever happened to him, it was something else. Maybe something connected to his lost memories? She suddenly has this desire to get him alone and ask him more questions.

But then the doctor takes the bowl of soup on a tray, and enters another room with it, and from the open doorway, they could hear the sounds of someone sobbing. The doctor sets down the soup inside, and then comes out again, closing the door behind him.

They all exchange glances. Attorney Jung's face is stiff, like a statue. Detective Son looks uncomfortable, and he scarfs down his food, and stands up to make his excuses. "Thank you for the meal, sajangnim. But we really have to go." 

"It's not that late," Cha Ji An says, wanting to stay longer, but the detective hisses at her.

"Just tell him to drop by the station when he's ready," Son Myung Woo says, bowing and then dragging Cha Ji An out by the back of her blouse.

Min watches them go. Lee Joon Young steps toward him, carding fingers through his hair, carefully avoiding the wound at the back of his head. "Concussion?"

"Yes," he says and recites the rest of the instructions from the doctor at the hospital.

"Alright. Why don't you take the bedroom upstairs. I'll make sure Hyun sleeps some more and then I'll join you there."

"We shouldn't leave him alone," Min protests. 

But Joon Young shakes his head. "This isn't something we can help him with, Min-a. He needs to work through the memories himself."

"He's blaming himself, isn't he?"

"Yes. And tomorrow you can reassure him that he's wrong. But tonight, you need your rest just as much as he does."

Min pouts but he knows he isn't exactly thinking clearly at the moment, and even after taking painkillers, he can feel the dull ache throbbing in his head and torso. "Tomorrow then," he says like a promise.

Lee Joon Young helps him stand, and kisses his unmarked cheek. "Will you trust me?"

Min rolls his eyes. "Alright. Yes. You happy now?"

Joon Young laughs softly. "Thank you, Min-a."

\---

Hyun knows this conversation was coming, but it doesn't mean he's any more prepared for it.

"I think I was born this way." Min looks at him with flat eyes. "So you don't have to blame yourself."

It is obviously a lie designed to make him feel better. Hyun reaches out hesitantly to cup the left side of Min's face. "The last thing I want to be is a burden to you," he says, voice still a little hoarse.

Joon Young interrupts. "Aren't we a burden to you, too, Hyun-a? Isn't that how it is to be family? Why don't you let us decide if you're worth it to us?"

Hyun closes his eyes tightly. "I hope you never feel like you have to kill for me ever again."

"That's my choice," Min says in clipped tones. "Just like what you chose to do last night. Just like what you chose to do that day when mother died."

Hyun flinches like he's been physically struck. Joon Young squeezes Min's shoulder in warning.

"Hyun-a, whatever consequences that act may have had on Min, you made the best choice possible under the circumstances. You were a child yourself. What else could you have done?"

Hyun has no answer to that, so Joon Young continues. "You were a victim, too. What happened that day hurt you, too. Blaming yourself won't help anyone now."

"Maybe I'm just afraid because I don't know the limits of what I would do for either of you," Hyun whispers. 

"What you feel, we feel the same way, and we didn't stop feeling like that even when you weren't here." Joon Young steps closer and carefully hugs Hyun. "The truth is we're all stronger together than apart. We're all saner together than apart."

A part of Hyun wants to resist, but he is tired of carrying all these things by himself. Joon Young opens his left arm. Min stands, waiting, until Hyun opens his right. Then Min joins them, clutching tight the both of them even though his ribs complain. He whispers into his hyung's ear. "If you ever leave me again, I will kill you."

"And maybe I'll let you." Hyun kisses Min's shoulder. "I'm sorry, Min-a."

"No. No more apologies." Min turns to him. "You've always been my hero, hyung. Don't ever apologize for that."

They kiss, and Hyun's heart clenches at the taste of Min's mouth. It feels like home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just an epilogue left after this. I'm still working on the last part, which will be three stories under one title, most of it fluff. Hahaha. Hope you guys enjoy!


	6. Chapter 6

Epilogue

Cha Ji An drops by the next morning. Lee Hyun answers the door. "Oh, it's you," he says.

She should be used to his rudeness by now. "Can we talk?" There's an unfinished conversation that's been nagging at her.

Hyun closes the door behind him. "How about we take a walk?"

They head out to the path beside the house. Cha Ji An finds herself looking up at the place as if she is seeing it for the first time. The red walls are pretty, and there are several balconies, giving it an impression of openness and light. Too bad reality is a different matter.

Hyun stops beneath a tree and sits down on the grass, for once uncaring if he stains his clothes.

Cha Ji An looks him over before following him to the ground. There is something different about him, but she can't quite pin it down.

"I know you're curious about last night," he begins.

"I figured you must have remembered something," she says.

"Yes." Hyun meets her eyes. "But it has nothing to do with Lee Joon Young. It's an earlier memory, connected to my mother's death."

"Oh."

He looks down and laughs a little. "I also remember you. I guess I should have done so sooner. You haven't changed all that much."

Cha Ji An flushes a little. She touches the grass beside her and pulls out a tuft or two.

Hyun takes a deep breath before continuing, "Truthfully, I respect your courage and persistence, Cha Ji An-sshi. But I'm worried that one day you'll wake up and realize you wasted your life on this murderer." When he says the last word, his voice changes, like it's work to speak it out loud.

He looks at her. "Life has no guarantees. He could be dying somewhere right now, and we could never know. It's not something you should build your life around. There are far better things."

"What, are you telling me to get married and have babies and just forget about my father?" She asks angrily, hating how her voice wavers.

"I'm saying don't neglect your own happiness. That's another way to honor the life your father gave you. You don't have to give up, but go on a date, or travel to a different country, or just get a new hobby. Find out what gives you joy. It's especially important because of your profession. You need to balance out the evil you see everyday."

Ji An hugs her knees to her chest. "I guess you and Attorney Jung must have gotten back together. People who are in love just wants to matchmake everybody else."

Lee Hyun snorts. "Yes, that may have been a factor." He looks away, too, up at the window of his house. "I didn't see him coming. I've been alone for so long that I've gotten used to it. I only realized how lonely I really was when I met him."

Ji An wrinkles her nose. "No offense, but I find him a bit cold. I mean he's cute, but kind of stiff."

"He hides it," Hyun says, smiling. "He's actually a really passionate person. Or maybe I'm just the lucky few he can be himself with."

"What about Dr. Lee Joon-Ho? He's the last person I expect you to be friends with." Ji An is still trying to reconcile the man she met at the morgue with the man from last night. 

"He's Sun-Ho's family, the only one who accepts him for who he is," Hyun says.

"Oh. I'm sorry," Cha Ji An offers awkwardly.

"So I guess that makes him my family, too," Hyun adds, snorting. "I don't know if I should start calling him samchon now. That might be weird." He turns to her again. "He's good at what he does. If you ever get stuck, you can try getting his opinion."

"Why are you saying it like that?" She asks, frowning at him.

"I'm turning in my resignation. I enjoy solving puzzles, but I've had too much of death." Hyun stands up in one graceful motion, then leans over her, giving her a brief peck on her forehead that takes her by surprise she almost tumbles back. "Be happy, Cha Ji An-sshi. Wherever your father is right now, you can be sure that's what he wants for you."

And he walks away without looking back.

\---

There is a letter in her mailbox. It reads, _He's all grown up, uri Hyun-a. Don't worry, Ji Soo-sshi. I will look after him well. Kamsahamnida._

What is she supposed to do now? Hyun Ji Soo locks herself in the bathroom and weeps. It's rare to let herself feel things too deeply these days. She has numbed herself for so long. It helps with the job, and it helps her keep her head up every day, helps keep her going even when every cell in her body is screaming at her to just lie down and give up.

But she is tired of the taste of fear as she walks through the hallways of the station. Maybe if she had Hyun followed, she will get her answer. But what will it serve?

_Is this how it feels to slowly go insane?_ She wonders.

That night, she writes the first draft of her resignation letter.

She has had enough.

\---

Joon Young's hands on him are rough, pressing deep into his hips until he feels that even his bones are bruised. Min is a shadow behind him, licking the sweat from his shoulders, pressing fingers inside him until his tongue feels too big in his mouth from moaning too hard. Hyun's hands are on Joon Young's arms, his nails cutting into the skin. Min guides him down onto Joon Young, and he arches his back, baring his throat at the sensation he thought he would never feel again. Min bites into his neck, running fingertips across his chest and torso, catching on his nipples, and then going lower to play with the head of his dick. He shifts restlessly, unable to find a rhythm from the overload on his senses. 

And then he feels Min nudge into him, and he slumps forward, head lolling onto Joon Young's shoulder even as Min slowly inches in. The pain is indescribable, and yet somehow sublime. The two of them breaking him open. His heartbeat sounds like thunder in his ears. He's burning up somehow, like a fire has been lit right under his ribs. Joon Young turns his face and devours his lips even as Min rocks into him, grabbing his hips, adding to the bruises already forming there. 

When he comes, he feels his skin disappear, and for that breathless moment, he doesn't know where he ends and they begin. He cries out half in ecstasy and half in agony.

\---

It has become a ritual after each of their sessions. Hyun holds out his hand across the table and waits for Choi Eun-Bok to place his there. The younger man does so with great reluctance. 

Even with practice, it's an uncomfortable task. And he is aware of the slow ticking of the clock behind the other man's head. And so to fill the silence and to distract himself, Eun-Bok finds himself blurting out, "So are you guys back together?" 

"What makes you say that?" Hyun asks.

Eun-Bok's face turns red. "There's a bite mark at the back of your neck," he says.

Hyun makes an aborted move to touch it, but he just shakes his head, smiling wryly. "Did we even break up? In retrospect, it didn't seem like it. I guess I was just stupid enough to fall for the two people in this world who are incapable of letting me go."

Eun-Bok watches him. "But did you let _them_ go?"

Hyun looks at him with startled eyes, mouth open but somehow unable to utter a word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end is in sight, guys! Only one more story (in three parts, probably).
> 
> Oh and the pictures are for the previous chapter. This one made me realize how hard it really is to write realistic romance. Hahahaha. I'm outside my comfort zone here.

**Author's Note:**

> I listened to a lot of old Matchbox 20 songs while writing this fic. (Can't let you go, Disease, Bent, If you're gone...) 
> 
> It's... not as angsty as I planned it to be. Hahaha. 
> 
> Also, I made up a lot of oc names, and I'm not sure how gendered they are, so sorry if they sound off. And I don't know if you noticed, but I changed the time period from 13 years later to 16 years instead, because 2011 was the first date Hyun asks Cha Ji An about... I don't think three years will have any significant impact on the story. I'm just anal like that.


End file.
